After the question of “why are we here?” there is no other question that has been as pondered, examined and picked apart by humankind as the question of how to succeed. Which makes sense, after all success is tied to survival and the instinct of every living being on this planet is to work towards surviving in anyway that it can. 

Same Old Story

If you look at the basics of anyone who was able to attain what they wanted, the methods they use are all very similar. Yet we continue to examine, pick apart, recreate, re-“hack” the way to success again and again and again. “Don’t give up… know what you want with clarity…”. Any of the mass circulating motivational quotes on Social Media usually contain at least one of the necessary elements for success. Through this inspirational and motivational wave, the steps to achievement surround us every day. So why aren’t we all achieving like crazy? 

Success isn’t just about money or status. We also all have different definitions of what it means to each of us because every person’s survival strategy is unique to them. Success is actually nothing more than knowing how to consistently get what you want. Be it money, a career, house, status, love, higher spirituality. Consistency is the key reason why the question of how to achieve success pops up over and over. But let me tell you a little secret, the only one who holds the key to how you can be consistently successful is YOU. 

Your Unique Survival Strategy

You can try a millionaire’s methods to get success, any author, motivational speaker or person who has something you aspire to have. Role modelling is an excellent method for trying to figure out ways to move forward, as are most of the methods circulating in society. They definitely have truth to them, there’s no denying that, but you need to go a few steps deeper to obtain consistent results.

Following someone else’s methods will not always consistently work for you. Why? Because they are someone else’s. You have to discover for yourself what your unique survival strategy is and that may include elements that someone else used, but adapted to fit you. But your survival strategy isn’t just about methods and figuring out and adapting which ones to use.

Line It All Up

It takes allllll of you to get what you want. We often only focus on the power of the mind and our thoughts as a key support for our upfront action-taking on the road to success. But you are made up of so much more than just your mind. So let’s break down all of the components that you need to consistently achieve.

1. What does your intuition say? 

Your intuition is your secret weapon that operates in harmony with your heart. It is your special guide, 100% unique to you, that holds all of the answers for your life. You didn’t actually think the Universe was cruel enough to stick you in this life without some sort of instruction manual, did you? Your intuition is the MOST important element within you. What? Not your mind?! Nope! Your mind can be easily tricked, manipulated and misled. Not your intuition. Don’t get me wrong, our mind will try to influence our intuition, a.k.a. gut instinct, all the time. Especially when it comes to emotionally charged decisions. If you side only with your mind and your intuition is not on board, you will not get what you want and certainly not the way you want it.

Why is your intuition so rock solid and important? Because it is the voice of your subconscious. You know, that part of you that is responsible for 90 – 98% of how you operate? So when the voice of 98% of you says to do something you do it, right? Your conscious mind is only the voice of 10-2% of you and it is the least experienced part of your whole being. So why does society operate using only the 10-2% of them that doesn’t really know what it’s doing? Somewhere along the way using our intuition became taboo (don’t worry, we aren’t going into the long long history here). It is an otherworldly, incredibly spiritual element of us that holds many the secrets of ourselves and the Universe that our conscious mind just isn’t ready to comprehend. What we can’t comprehend scares us, so we shut it down.

Tapping into your subconscious takes awareness and for many awareness is hard to obtain, but it comes with practice. When trying to make decisions, finding out which path to take in life or pick the right solutions, submit your questions to your intuition. 

How to connect with your intuition:

1. Find a quiet place 
2. Close your eyes 
3. Take steadying, calming breaths, breathing into your core and your heart, focusing on your center
4. Ask for what you need, be patient and wait for the answer

If you have never really used your intuition before (we all use it now and again subconsciously) it may take some practice tuning into it and trusting it. The more you practice, the more you will be able to distinguish between your conscious mind and your intuition and the faster your answers will come.  

2. Aligning your mind with your intuitional guidance

It is the job of your conscious mind to take the answers, instructions, and nudges from our intuition and integrate it into our conscious thought and take action. You will be surprised how much easier this will be for you than when you were trying to do it the other way around. The 98-90% will always win. The harder you try to conquer it with your 2-10% conscious mind, the more you will self-sabotage and create obstructions and problems for yourself. Our outside problems come from trying to operate the wrong way around. If your conscious and subconscious (intuition) mind are battling each other, that discorded energy gets projected out into the world around you. As similar energies are drawn to similar energies under Universal law, you invite outside circumstances to bring you chaos as well.

Use your conscious mind to take action towards what you desire based on the instructions your intuition gives you. Stay in balance and if you aren’t sure the methods you are using are quite right, check back in with your intuition. It will give you the answers for everything. If something is not working it is because your conscious mind is still trying to run the show. You know it is right when it feels good to you. It’s key to keep realigning these two components, breathing into your heart and core and quieting the programming, worries, and erratic thoughts that are hindering you. Don’t get caught up in what other people are doing. Remember, their survival strategy is unique to them.

3. Don’t forget your vessel

If you are able to successfully align and get your conscious and subconscious mind working in harmony, then this third piece will already start falling into place on it’s own.

Your body is a temple for your soul, your subconscious and all the other beautiful components of you. Your subconscious is always going to be the first to let you know when it isn’t happy with something and often this has to do with how we treat ourselves mentally and physically. Now based on the Universal principle, if your mind and subconscious mind are in balance you shouldn’t be having the urge to abuse your body mentally or physically. If you are noticing self-destructive behaviour, a body issue you can’t make peace with, whatever it may be, your subconscious is asking you to make changes and get in alignment in this department. Take that issue, formulate it into a question and tune into your intuition to find the solution. 

Having all of your components in alignment will bring you everything you need with ease. The hard part is staying in alignment and in tune with yourself. If you can do that, it won’t matter what exact methods you use or what steps you take as long as they are coming from within you.

Article by LAHR

We have an upcoming program that guides you through using and expanding your intuitive connection. Let us know if you are interested by dropping us a line support@life-lm.com.

You know that feeling you get after trying out a new workout routine? You’re tired but mostly amped up, so proud of yourself for finally making the move. By evening you begin to feel it. Your muscles are squealing just a little bit, but that’s ok, you still feel good. By the next morning that squealing gets louder and as the day progresses you feel 50 years older and struggle to get up from a chair.

It was New Year’s Eve and you needed a resolution, swimsuit season was around the corner, or maybe you saw someone that reminded you of something you wanted for yourself. Perhaps you have even been chomping on this goal for over a year or more. Whatever the “why”, you made the decision to alter your habit and start a new healthy behaviour. Yet after one maybe two to three goes at it, your teetering, about to fall off the wagon and eyeing those habitual patterns like a tempting, mouth watering treat. Ah, I can skip today and do it tomorrow… no harm done. 

But there is harm done because that tomorrow turns into next year’s resolution until eventually you give up on it all together. 

Have you been there? Are you there right now?

Work It, Work It

Retraining habits and behaviours in your mind is just like working out your body. It is never just a one and done thing. The muscle pain you feel from the workout reveals itself in your mind as excuses and ploys to keep you in the circle of bad habits and behaviours. Like a programmed addiction, you keep circling back. 

Wouldn’t it be great if you just had to lift weights once and you got immediate results? Or just decide to be and act a certain way and hocus-pocus it happens? Sign me up for that because that would be amazing, but it’s not the world we live in. 

Conquer Your Discomfort To Win

You have to break a mental sweat to really make a change and make it stick. Even if that new habit is something like working out. You are not only training your physical body with this task, but your mind as well. Generating new habits is uncomfortable. If it weren’t more people would be successful at doing it. It takes real dedication and a willingness to stare that discomfort in the eye to form a positive and desired new habit.

Whenever you are retraining the brain, consciously “reprogramming”, it takes 2 months to work it into your system and about 6 months for it to become a fully formed unconscious habit – naturally depending on the new behaviour and how ingrained the old, undesired habit might be. 

Yes, I hear you, but why is this not the case for bad habits?! 

Bad habits are formed in our unconscious mind and usually the outcome of trying to be comfortable, take the easy way out. They became a habit because we interpreted them as a kind of reward, often resulting in instant gratification. We stay in our bad habits until we become aware that they are actually harming us – yet even then we don’t budge to make a change. The pain point must be reached to get ourselves to start looking at a new form of discomfort. 

Reframe And Press On

See it this way, you are swapping out old discomfort that is hurting you for a new discomfort that will reward you. Whenever you are facing a task that makes you drag your feet, no matter how much you know it will benefit you, it helps to reframe the situation. Remind yourself of the why, what you stand to gain and what you stand to lose should you fall off the wagon. Remember your pain point.

Set-up a Mental Sweat Plan (just like a workout plan) for integrating your new desired behaviour and dropping an old undesired one. Is it something you need to do daily? Every two days? After you have established a clear frequency in which the new behaviour will be carried out, use an instant gratification reward system for when you stick to it. On the days you see it through, what positive thing can you do to reward yourself? 

To reinforce the pain point on the days you do not follow through, come up with a punishment for yourself. What privilege do you lose? Is it sleeping in on the weekend? No coffee in the morning? Our brains respond in wondrous ways to positive and negative reinforcers. 

Practice makes a master. This applies to anything you want to achieve. 

Now get out there and set it in motion.

Article by LAHR

Want some assistance? We specialise in helping our clients overcome their mental and emotional blocks and achieve their dreams. Drop us a line for a Strategy Session.

We all have dreams, things that we are passionate about and aspire to do at some point during our lifetime. It is not always easy to know whether it is a passing fancy or a bonafide wish and desire and it is something that many of us struggle with. This is a question that I even asked myself for years and it was a process to find the answer. 

Let me tell you a secret. For a long time I had a really successful career as an architect. So how did I end up founding Life LM? 

Sometimes The Clues Are In Our Childhood 

My life’s passions were always very clear from an early age: helping others, singing, painting (really anything art related), and writing. Growing up in the US, my impression was if you are not born into a family that is financially well-off, you either follow the same path or fight through hard work to change your circumstances. I chose the latter and pursued the path of academics – a path that was more traditional, safe, in order to better guarantee my survival. 

Many times we lose focus of what we actually dream of doing, because it might be risky, because it might require us to stick our necks out and be brave. We lose and forget our dreams when we aim for the safe path and not the one that fulfils us. If you are lost on the path and not quite sure what your dream or purpose might be – start digging in your childhood. What were the things that you really loved? Do you still feel that way?

Fighting For Safety And Security

I aimed for the academic path in high school that would allow me to succeed. One that without financial support would open the doors of any college for me. I moved on to university, choosing to pursue an architectural engineering degree. I worked hard – days, nights, weekends, social life – all sacrificed for my side-job and my degree.

During this period, I was constantly asking myself, why am I doing this? Is being an architect actually going to help anyone? This was my first hint that I wasn’t meeting a need of my inner purpose. But I put my head down and continued fighting, sure that this path was the right one to survive. After university I jumped right into the career path. I was hungry to succeed as quickly as possible, I was hungry to stop living a life of poverty. It wasn’t until my career success started picking up that I could stop focusing on surviving and start thinking about how I was living. 

Not every step on the path is a bad one, or a distraction of your true purpose. Many things that happen in our life need to happen in order to wake us up to what is important and what we really want from life. Do you find yourself searching for the “why” in what you are doing?

Getting The Push

All the years that I was working, marrying myself to the drive to survive I always felt deep in my gut that this was not the path for me forever. The feeling in my gut got louder, more crushing with each passing year. I ignored it because I thought, “I worked so hard to get here, I cannot just toss it to the winds. How will I survive?” What I was still failing to recognise at the time, was that I was going against my purpose. Stuffing myself into a box and a life that didn’t belong to me. 

Each day I got up for work dreading it. It felt like having stones in my stomach. I was successful, I did a great job, what was my problem? Over time I realised that forcing myself to live this way was taking me away from the warm, caring, big hearted person I always was. Instead I was angry, resentful, hated the environment that I was in and moreover I was constantly falling ill. These kinds of patterns happen when we are not being true to ourselves. Many of us come up with metaphors of putting on a suit, wearing a mask – these are all just ways of expressing that you are forcing yourself into something that you are not. 

Where Do You Want To Be?

My story can be reflected all across the globe. Putting time and effort into a job that leaves you feeling everything other than you hoped to feel – usually out of the need for security. While security is important, it is equally important not to forget or lose what you wanted from life. According to a 2017 Gallup poll, 85% of the world’s population doesn’t like their job. That is huge. One of the biggest regrets people have in life is not pursuing the things they loved and always dreamed of doing. I cannot impress upon you enough, that you only have this life, this right now.

At the End of Your Life, Was It Everything You Wanted It To Be?

Don’t be part of that statistic – it is in your power. Imagine applying all of the energy that you do at a job you don’t like into one you do like. One that brings you joy. One that lights you up and fills you up instead of sucking you dry. 

Picture yourself for a moment at the end of your days if the life you are leading right now stays the way it is. Are you happy? Did you live a fulfilled life, do everything you dreamed of doing, have no regrets? What did living your life this way cost you in terms of mental, physical, emotional health? When I did this exercise many times before taking the leap myself, it broke my heart. It helped me recognise even more so that something needed to change. Are you recognising the same need within yourself?

Now imagine yourself at the end of your life but this time you did pursue all of your dreams. How do you feel? What did you do? Where are you? What do you stand to gain by living this way? Really take a moment to visualise and feel it just as you did before. 

Article by LAHR

Let us help you reach for the life that you want. Don’t be part of the 85%, be part of the 15% that dare to have a job that they stand behind and gives them purpose. 

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We all suffer from self-doubt, but where is it coming from?

Does it originate in our fears or has it become habitual, something that has stuck with you since childhood? Join us in the discussion. What kind of self-doubt are you experiencing? Have you started the process to be more in control?

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How Believing In Your Own Self-Worth Can Change Your Life

A life without pain is improbable, but a life without suffering, or at least less of it, is possible. Much of our own suffering, jealousy and self-sabotage can be traced back how much we value ourselves. We have all been there on bad days, giving a perfect stranger a beady look, assured that they have wronged us just by being in the same place that we are. But if we are honest with ourselves, usually we are giving strangers this less than savoury side of ourselves because they might remind us of something we wish we had. The sharply dressed business man at the bakery with his fancy suit and too good for the rest of us attitude. The woman in line in front of us who is just annoyingly kind to everyone. 

The Lens Of Our Self-Worth

While these are just some very stereotypical examples, many of us can recognise similar people or situations we have experienced. What we never consider is that we are only glimpsing a second of this person’s life and judging them for it through the lens of our own self-worth. We never stop to consider that those same people that we are judging are also judging who we are based on that 1-minute snapshot – a minute in which we are not shining. We also never stop to consider that this same person struggles with their own self-value just like we do.

In these moments where we are envying, judging, and having a cold and closed persona to perfect strangers, we are only subconsciously voicing how we feel about ourselves and looking to satisfy our need for significance by putting down and mistreating others. When you do not believe that you are worthy of love (whether from yourself or from others) or that you are capable of doing things that anyone else can, you create a pattern of bad habits that allows this significance spiral to continue. This negative spiral will only block you and ruin any chances to have any aspect of the life you are dreaming of.

What Life Are You Leading? 

The quality of your main emotions dictates the quality of your life. What kind of life are you living right now? Break down the kinds of emotions you are feeling for one week. Are you mostly happy or angry? Are you jealous, guilty or full of self-pity? Do you have a need to trash others more than you are kind? Keep a journal and mark the top 5 emotions you feel over the next week. When you look at these emotions, examine what it was that triggered them. The deeper meaning of our behaviours is always anchored to our past experiences. By discovering the deeper meaning, you can begin to confront these issues head-on. 

Next, think about what you do to make yourself feel better when you feel insignificant, undervalued or unworthy. Does it involve over-eating, drinking alcohol, burying yourself in too much entertainment and distraction to the point where you are no longer active in your own life? If any of these kind of activities sounded familiar to you, then you are enforcing your feelings of unworthiness with negative habits. Take a moment to ask yourself, if you believed that you were worthy, how would you treat yourself? Use this as a guide to go through each of your negative habits and replace them with a positive one along with stating a new belief to yourself, “I AM lovable and capable”.

We All Share This Story

Each of us is united in our inner struggles, even if we are on different points on the path. I personally have struggled most of my life with a feeling of unworthiness. Christmas and birthdays were especially difficult. I had a horrible, guilty feeling if anyone gave me a present and struggled to make myself open it and accept it. I loved giving presents but not receiving them – because I didn’t believe I deserved anything. I couldn’t enjoy my birthday because I didn’t believe I should be celebrated. We can even struggle to let others love us, or even believe that someone could love us so deeply. We question it, we doubt it and if we truly don’t believe we are worthy, we will push that person away. But you are worthy and it is time to start believing it.

The Road To You

The road to self-worthiness takes time. Long habitual patterns are not broken in one day. You must clearly decide that you want and need to change. That you want to feel worthy and most of all, you have to let yourself be you. A lack of self-worth makes us diminish our own light. Makes us hide away from the person we were born to be. When we free ourselves from this skewed perspective and stand 100% in ourselves, the rest will flow. Life is easier when you are living your truth, it gets hard when you box yourself away, going against who you were born to be and what you were born to do. 

Article by LAHR

Looking for more tips and guidance to live your best life? Reach out to us at www.life-lm.com 

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The Crippling Effects Of Letting Your Negative Inner Voice Have Free Reign

Let me ask you something, what were the first words you said to yourself this morning as you got up and got ready to start your day? What was the voice in your inner ear, the one that sneaks through between the thoughts of what you have to do that day or flash backs to the day before? Did it ring with confidence or did it put you down, really driving home the feeling that you aren’t good enough? 

Our inner dialog is a good indicator of how much we love who we are and how much we respect ourselves.

The Demon

My own inner voice used to sound like a demon from my worst nightmares. It would torture me on a daily basis, even at times driving me to the point where I couldn’t leave the house. I would get up in the morning and as most woman do, begin putting on makeup and that is where it would start.

“Oh no, is that a blemish?! I am a hideous monster… my nose is too big, my eyes are funny, I am ugly, why am I not perfect?…” 

On paper and in hindsight these particular thoughts sound incredibly petty, and rationally I always knew they were, but I couldn’t quell that inner voice. It didn’t just linger on my skin, it lingered on my body – clearly I was too fat and definitely oddly shaped, on my intelligence, what I was capable of, whether anyone could love me for who I am…. Whether I am even worthy of the love that I craved from a special someone. 

My inner voice would even have get-together parties with my perfectionist streak. If I could not meet my own expectations, it felt like a shattering failure. That voice would pipe up and continue to lay on the misery in unhealthy doses. Until one day I realised, this abuse had to stop. It was making me miserable and if I couldn’t love and appreciate me for who I am, flaws and all, how could I ever expect anyone else on this planet to?

It Starts With Development

Our inner voices are strongly shaped by those around us, especially when we are in our young years of development. Body images can stem anywhere from societal pressures, parents telling their kids they are too fat or too skinny, peers, etc. How we feel about our abilities can be shaped by teachers, parents, friends, siblings, bosses. If unchecked, the image we have of ourselves builds through the distorted lens of opinions others have, or we believe them to have about us. Some of us are lucky enough to recognise our toxic inner dialog and begin questioning it. The first step in destroying a toxic pattern is awareness. “Am I really all of those things?” 

Debunking the Image Beliefs

The answer that resounds within you should be “No you are not”. Letting a negative dialog and ill and abusive treatment of yourself continue will only lead to further health and psychological problems down the road. Not to mention stand in the way of the life you might be dreaming of leading. 

Find examples that prove to yourself that these thoughts are wrong. In the case of image issues, think of examples where people said positive things to you. Think of days when you felt really beautiful and dashing. But don’t just look on the outside, look for things you love about the inner you. Is it your big heart? Your humour? Recall how you felt on these occasions, or how you feel about your positive traits. Take it in and let the emotion fill you, embrace this part of yourself. Whenever your negative voice starts to pipe up, draw on these things and tell yourself “That voice is wrong. This is who I really am and I am a wonderful person”.

Let Go of Perfectionism

Aside from releasing negative image patterns, it was pivotal for me to let go of my perfectionism. It was crippling, burning me out – and so extreme in my early years of college that it was causing dangerous thoughts. Horrified, I decided instead to focus on where I felt I succeed instead of the things I perceived as failures. I focused on the moments that I had proven to myself that I could go above and beyond my own expectations and above all, I decided that my health and mental health was worth more than any grade, situation or experience could ever be. My over the top perfectionism and negative voice was a blessing in disguise, because it made me realise that self-love and support is beyond anything else when it comes to the health of your mind, soul and body. Not only did vanquishing that demon voice rid me of years of torture, it freed me up and let me be open to meeting the love of my life.

Thoughts Are Things

Thoughts are powerful. As the adage goes, “Thoughts are things”. Who and what you believe you are, you will be. One of the biggest things that gets in the way of people achieving their dreams, having the relationships they want to have, is a disharmony between the “I” and the “me”, reflected in the inner dialog. Change the things about you that you are focusing on. 

It takes constant practice to break old patterns and implement new ones. Overtime you won’t even realise that that negative voice has quieted down until you realise, “Hey! I treat myself much more differently now and I feel great”. It is beyond freeing to put it behind you, and with it you will see the incredible shifts in yourself and the things in your life. 

Sometimes the only thing standing between you and the things you want in life is you.

Article by LAHR

Find out more about how our coachings can help you change your inner dialog. We also recommend the book on Thought Vibration by William Walker Atkinson. www.life-lm.com

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You grew up missing the love, care and support of a parent, so you swear never to let anyone get close enough to hurt you, disappoint you. Your parents fought constantly, each often showing how much they despise the other, so you swear never to marry. You had a very authoritarian father, so you swear to always live free, avoid any bosses, jobs, or relationships that might threaten to tie you down. Does any of this sound familiar?

It Starts With A Decision

Each one of us has had moments in our lives when we have made key decisions that go on to effect us, for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. These decisions are most commonly made in childhood (consciously or unconsciously) when something we witnessed or experienced was distressful, painful, or even traumatic. Key decisions are the mind’s way of protecting us from these situations in the future, but more often than not these decisions start to limit us at some point in our adult lives.

In the first example of the person who promises themselves to never let anyone get close to them for fear of heartache and vulnerability will never have a successful relationship. The wall they put up around their heart will overtime be the cause of the very heartache that they fear. The person who makes such a key decision, will unconsciously self-sabotage any relationship, romantic or otherwise, with anyone who tries to connect with them on too intimate of a level. 

Let Go

Key decisions are made out of good intent. But even with the best intentions, they can’t be allowed to limit you later, affecting your relationships, career, personality, etc. Ask yourself, is there anything holding you back from the life you want to have in the future? Can the cause of this be traced back to a key decision, something you experienced in your past? 

Article by LAHR

Free yourself from the limiters of your past. We offer coaching sessions for working through key decisions and rewriting their narrative so you can live a fuller life. Please reach out to us, we’ll be happy to guide you through the process. www.life-lm.com

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