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How Believing In Your Own Self-Worth Can Change Your Life
A life without pain is improbable, but a life without suffering, or at least less of it, is possible. Much of our own suffering, jealousy and self-sabotage can be traced back how much we value ourselves. We have all been there on bad days, giving a perfect stranger a beady look, assured that they have wronged us just by being in the same place that we are. But if we are honest with ourselves, usually we are giving strangers this less than savoury side of ourselves because they might remind us of something we wish we had. The sharply dressed business man at the bakery with his fancy suit and too good for the rest of us attitude. The woman in line in front of us who is just annoyingly kind to everyone.
“The quality of your main emotions dictates the quality of your life.”
LAHR
The Lens Of Our Self-Worth
While these are just some very stereotypical examples, many of us can recognise similar people or situations we have experienced. What we never consider is that we are only glimpsing a second of this person’s life and judging them for it through the lens of our own self-worth. We never stop to consider that those same people that we are judging are also judging who we are based on that 1-minute snapshot – a minute in which we are not shining. We also never stop to consider that this same person struggles with their own self-value just like we do.
In these moments where we are envying, judging, and having a cold and closed persona to perfect strangers, we are only subconsciously voicing how we feel about ourselves and looking to satisfy our need for significance by putting down and mistreating others. When you do not believe that you are worthy of love (whether from yourself or from others) or that you are capable of doing things that anyone else can, you create a pattern of bad habits that allows this significance spiral to continue. This negative spiral will only block you and ruin any chances to have any aspect of the life you are dreaming of.
“I AM lovable and capable”
LAHR
What Life Are You Leading?
The quality of your main emotions dictates the quality of your life. What kind of life are you living right now? Break down the kinds of emotions you are feeling for one week. Are you mostly happy or angry? Are you jealous, guilty or full of self-pity? Do you have a need to trash others more than you are kind? Keep a journal and mark the top 5 emotions you feel over the next week. When you look at these emotions, examine what it was that triggered them. The deeper meaning of our behaviours is always anchored to our past experiences. By discovering the deeper meaning, you can begin to confront these issues head-on.
Next, think about what you do to make yourself feel better when you feel insignificant, undervalued or unworthy. Does it involve over-eating, drinking alcohol, burying yourself in too much entertainment and distraction to the point where you are no longer active in your own life? If any of these kind of activities sounded familiar to you, then you are enforcing your feelings of unworthiness with negative habits. Take a moment to ask yourself, if you believed that you were worthy, how would you treat yourself? Use this as a guide to go through each of your negative habits and replace them with a positive one along with stating a new belief to yourself, “I AM lovable and capable”.
We All Share This Story
Each of us is united in our inner struggles, even if we are on different points on the path. I personally have struggled most of my life with a feeling of unworthiness. Christmas and birthdays were especially difficult. I had a horrible, guilty feeling if anyone gave me a present and struggled to make myself open it and accept it. I loved giving presents but not receiving them – because I didn’t believe I deserved anything. I couldn’t enjoy my birthday because I didn’t believe I should be celebrated. We can even struggle to let others love us, or even believe that someone could love us so deeply. We question it, we doubt it and if we truly don’t believe we are worthy, we will push that person away. But you are worthy and it is time to start believing it.
“You are worthy and it is time to start believing it“
LAHR
The Road To You
The road to self-worthiness takes time. Long habitual patterns are not broken in one day. You must clearly decide that you want and need to change. That you want to feel worthy and most of all, you have to let yourself be you. A lack of self-worth makes us diminish our own light. Makes us hide away from the person we were born to be. When we free ourselves from this skewed perspective and stand 100% in ourselves, the rest will flow. Life is easier when you are living your truth, it gets hard when you box yourself away, going against who you were born to be and what you were born to do.
Article by LAHR
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