Includes an audio version below.
The Crippling Effects Of Letting Your Negative Inner Voice Have Free Reign
Let me ask you something, what were the first words you said to yourself this morning as you got up and got ready to start your day? What was the voice in your inner ear, the one that sneaks through between the thoughts of what you have to do that day or flash backs to the day before? Did it ring with confidence or did it put you down, really driving home the feeling that you aren’t good enough?
Our inner dialog is a good indicator of how much we love who we are and how much we respect ourselves.
The Demon
My own inner voice used to sound like a demon from my worst nightmares. It would torture me on a daily basis, even at times driving me to the point where I couldn’t leave the house. I would get up in the morning and as most woman do, begin putting on makeup and that is where it would start.
“Oh no, is that a blemish?! I am a hideous monster… my nose is too big, my eyes are funny, I am ugly, why am I not perfect?…”
“Our inner dialog is a good indicator of how much we love who we are and how much we respect ourselves.“
LAHR
On paper and in hindsight these particular thoughts sound incredibly petty, and rationally I always knew they were, but I couldn’t quell that inner voice. It didn’t just linger on my skin, it lingered on my body – clearly I was too fat and definitely oddly shaped, on my intelligence, what I was capable of, whether anyone could love me for who I am…. Whether I am even worthy of the love that I craved from a special someone.
My inner voice would even have get-together parties with my perfectionist streak. If I could not meet my own expectations, it felt like a shattering failure. That voice would pipe up and continue to lay on the misery in unhealthy doses. Until one day I realised, this abuse had to stop. It was making me miserable and if I couldn’t love and appreciate me for who I am, flaws and all, how could I ever expect anyone else on this planet to?
It Starts With Development
Our inner voices are strongly shaped by those around us, especially when we are in our young years of development. Body images can stem anywhere from societal pressures, parents telling their kids they are too fat or too skinny, peers, etc. How we feel about our abilities can be shaped by teachers, parents, friends, siblings, bosses. If unchecked, the image we have of ourselves builds through the distorted lens of opinions others have, or we believe them to have about us. Some of us are lucky enough to recognise our toxic inner dialog and begin questioning it. The first step in destroying a toxic pattern is awareness. “Am I really all of those things?”
“The first step in destroying a toxic pattern is awareness.”
LAHR
Debunking the Image Beliefs
The answer that resounds within you should be “No you are not”. Letting a negative dialog and ill and abusive treatment of yourself continue will only lead to further health and psychological problems down the road. Not to mention stand in the way of the life you might be dreaming of leading.
Find examples that prove to yourself that these thoughts are wrong. In the case of image issues, think of examples where people said positive things to you. Think of days when you felt really beautiful and dashing. But don’t just look on the outside, look for things you love about the inner you. Is it your big heart? Your humour? Recall how you felt on these occasions, or how you feel about your positive traits. Take it in and let the emotion fill you, embrace this part of yourself. Whenever your negative voice starts to pipe up, draw on these things and tell yourself “That voice is wrong. This is who I really am and I am a wonderful person”.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Aside from releasing negative image patterns, it was pivotal for me to let go of my perfectionism. It was crippling, burning me out – and so extreme in my early years of college that it was causing dangerous thoughts. Horrified, I decided instead to focus on where I felt I succeed instead of the things I perceived as failures. I focused on the moments that I had proven to myself that I could go above and beyond my own expectations and above all, I decided that my health and mental health was worth more than any grade, situation or experience could ever be. My over the top perfectionism and negative voice was a blessing in disguise, because it made me realise that self-love and support is beyond anything else when it comes to the health of your mind, soul and body. Not only did vanquishing that demon voice rid me of years of torture, it freed me up and let me be open to meeting the love of my life.
“Who and what you believe you are, you will be.”
LAHR
Thoughts Are Things
Thoughts are powerful. As the adage goes, “Thoughts are things”. Who and what you believe you are, you will be. One of the biggest things that gets in the way of people achieving their dreams, having the relationships they want to have, is a disharmony between the “I” and the “me”, reflected in the inner dialog. Change the things about you that you are focusing on.
It takes constant practice to break old patterns and implement new ones. Overtime you won’t even realise that that negative voice has quieted down until you realise, “Hey! I treat myself much more differently now and I feel great”. It is beyond freeing to put it behind you, and with it you will see the incredible shifts in yourself and the things in your life.
Sometimes the only thing standing between you and the things you want in life is you.
Article by LAHR
Find out more about how our coachings can help you change your inner dialog. We also recommend the book on Thought Vibration by William Walker Atkinson. www.life-lm.com
